From: fuzzbox@WORLD.STD.COM (U.F.Orb)
Date: Sun, 11 Jul 1993 13:14:00 -0400 (EDT)

I had the unfortunate experience of going the the show last night...

WEll, first of all, it appears that Bill and Jim have sold the KLF
name to Wanda Dee, because the event had signs all in the Middle East
Cafe just stating "The KLF" I only saw one small sticker on the door
as I went in that said "The KLF featuring the Goddess Wanda Dee".
Then I knew we were in trouble. Actually, I knew we were in trouble
when the only stage accessories were 3 cordless microphones....

But the show went like this...

First, they didn't even come on till around 12:15, giving some lame
excuse about just coming from Australia. Then, this old geezer from
"Fame" (or so he claimed) came up and gave us some monolouge about
how they just came from Austrailia, and how they didn't have time to 
do soundcheck and to bear with the first 5 minutes. Next, he claimed
that the show we were about to see was like sex, the more we gave, the
more we'd get (I wish It was really like sex...5 minutes and it was
over and I was asleep ;-), and to cheer on Wanda and her dancers and 
so forth...

Next, he introduced "Wanda Dee and The KLF" (No "new" there, either), 
and basically, it was just a karaoke show with backup dancers. It was
a pure insult to the memory of the KLF. The only songa that I remember
were "What Time Is Love" and "Last train to Trancentral". Wanda came
out in what was basically a strippers outfit (complete with thong back
and cut-out bra top) and sang along to the album. Her backup dancers
looked like, well, chippendales, complete with thongs and all.

As far as the vocal parts, She did all the female parts from the songs,
the geezer from Fame did half of the male parts, and some rapper guy
did the other half. I couldn't help feeling insulted by both the obvious
singing to backup tapes or by the fact that I was basically seeing a
male strip show, or the fact that I was scammed...

But here'z the funny part!!!

After the third song, they made the mistake of stopping for a breather,
when one of my friends (Hi Patrick!!!) started yelling from the
back "SCAM!!!! RIPOFF!!!!" To which the Geezer and Wanda felt they had 
to reply. Big Mistake. They asked him "What is your problem?" to
which he yelled "Where's Bill and Jim?" Then the geezer began his
reply....

"The people that this gentelman is speaking about is Bill Cauty, er
I mean, Bill Drummond (I'm not kidding, this is what he said!) and
Jim Cauty, who did write and produce all the music on the album
'The White Room', but if you look on the album you will also see
in the writing credits a 'L. McFarland' which is the Wanda Dee
you see in front of you now. Even if they were here, music is
made up of hundreds of samples, so the most that they could do
is plug in guitars and keyboards and mime to them. So, here in front
of you are the -performers- of the music, and that's what's important."

The audience applauded to that. Stupid bastards.

I should have whipped out my UK copy of the CD, which I had with me,
which has no mention whatsoever of L. McFarland, or writing credits
at all... And as anyone with half a brain cell can see, only 2 songs on 
the US copy of "The White Room" had anything to do with Wanda Dee.

Then he continued, and it gets funnier.....

"the two men who are responsible for the KLF used, in one of their songs,
a section from a song in "Phantom Of The Opera". Now, the man who
wrote "Phantom Of The Opera", Andrew Lloyd Weber, heard this, and is
after Bill and Jim, who are now currently in hiding. So, that is
wht Bill and Jim can not be here tonight, because they are hiding
from Andrew Lloyd Weber. Are you satisfied?"

Biggest laugh I've had all year.

So, I left after that. I couldn't take being lied and having my
intelligence insulted like that, but plenty of the audience
didn't appear to mind. I my own way, I felt sorry for them.

I felt no pity whatsoever for Wanda Dee or any of the people up on 
the stage. they were lying to us, knowingly exploiting the name of
the KLF, an making probably lotsa money off of it. No pity at all...

As I left, I told the stage manager to make sure that the next time
he booked bands to make sure that they were, in fact, the bands that 
he was advertizing. I'm sure glad I didn't actually pay for that 
insult to us....

to put it bluntly, don't bother.....

-- 
Jason Bilsky- fuzzbox@world.std.com **AnnoyingBandNameSigAlert!**
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