"Inside Concert Promotions" or "The Most Expensive Cover Charge Ever"

When I learned that the Communion tour, with Meat Beat Manifesto, Orbital, and
Ultramarine would be playing Boulder on the 17th of November, then San
Francisco on the 19th of November, I realized that they would be passing right
through Salt Lake City.  Originally I had planned just to drive out to San
Francisco and blow $300 having fun.  Why do that though?  Why not give it my
best shot and attempt to bring them to Salt Lake City?  Our mailing list was
fairly powerful in bringing out people in short notice, so I figured I could
at least cover my costs and have a good time as well.

First I called Mute in New York, they referred me to Los Angeles, they
referred me to their agent.  I called the agency and the agent was out on
vacation.  It depended on whether or not he would return my call.  The 11th
rolled around and I hadn't heard anything yet.  So I called Mute in LA again.
They gave me the number of Tony Fletcher in New York, one of the people
responsible for Communion.  He was extremely enthusiastic about coming here.
It surprised me how easy he was to work with, considering my past (bad)
experience in attempting to bring Pigface.  He referred me to the tour
manager, Lane, who could iron things out for me.  I called Lane at his hotel.
He shared Tony's enthusiasm for coming to Salt Lake, he had been here before
with Front Line Assembly and was impressed with the crowd.  More talking and
dealing.  At this point, Lane wasn't sure if the tour was going to continue.
Meat Beat Manifesto's paperwork for their visas had been lost.  He told me
that every congressman and senator in the state of New York was trying to push
them through in time.  By Friday morning he would have an answer for me.

Friday morning?  That wouldn't be enough time to start promoting.  It was
important that we got the flyers out to the mailing list by Thursday morning.
So even though we didn't have anything verified, we did it anyway.  It would
be easier to cancel the show than promote in advance and we needed all the
advance time we could get.

Thursday afternoon, the tour's agent called me.  MBM had received their visas,
the tour was interested in playing Salt Lake City.  He wanted me to make him
an offer.  He told me that their asking rate was $5000, he said nothing about
a bonus.  $5000 was our entire budget, there was no way I could guarantee
anything if I had to put that all up in advance.  So I faxed an offer of $3000
and 40% of net.  Amazingly enough, he accepted.  Saturday morning, he called
back to iron out the details.  It seemed that the only thing he had read on my
fax was the $3000 in advance.  He asked about a bonus and I told him that I
said 40%, he said that they usually take 80%, I went half way with 60%.  He
said he would fax me the "rider" (details on what is required in sound,
lights, and hospitality) and details on where to wire the $3000 advance on
Monday.  A deal had been struck, they were coming to Salt Lake City.

They didn't have any place to play.  I had hunted high and low for a decent
warehouse and every time the owner wasn't interested.  It came down to either
putting them in a club, or not doing it at all.  We investigated a
warehouse/club, actually the first place I had ever DJ'd.  The owners had seen
fit to "renovate" the warehouse.  A lot of ugly wood laticework had been put
up and the dance floor was disassembled.  Although they were interested at a
very low rate, I felt that it wasn't an option since having the under 21 crowd
would have been a problem.  Finally I checked with DV8 (yes, the same name as
the San Francisco club, and the same atmosphere too).  DV8 had put up Front
Line Assembly and had a really good show out of it.  The fact that the tour
manager had been there before would have been a plus.  Karen, the owner was
very happy to accommodate us.  She even allowed us to take over the club and
turn it upside down in attempt to make it appear different.  I was expecting a
very high rental, but amazingly enough, she asked only for the cost of the
five bouncers we wanted to use.  Of course, she was probably going to take in
a lot on the upstairs 21+ bar.

I received the "rider".  Holy commoly.  Was I really expected to provide all
this?  On Monday, after arranging our sound ($800) and our lights ($500), I
arranged the catering.  This is everything they wanted in the way of food:

      "Various sliced vegetables for sandwiches (tomatoes, lettuce,
      cucumbers, bean/alfalfa sprouts, etc.). Two large packages of cold,
      firm tofu, herb tofu if available. Assorted sliced cheeses
      (mozzarella, cheddar, Soya mozzarella), Six sliced loaves 100% Whole
      Wheat or Multigrain bread (no white bread).  One jar crunchy Peanut
      Butter.  Green Relish, Mayonnaise (eggless), Margarine, Hummus,
      Ketchup for spreads.  One four slice toaster (don't worry, we won't
      take it).  Salt, Pepper, Knives, Forks, Spoons, Plates, Napkins.  2
      Large bags Sun Chips.  2 Large bags Ruffles Potato Chips (Salt and
      Vinegar and/or Barbecue).  2 Large bags Blue Corn chips with vegetable
      based salsa.  2 Large boxes Plain Ritz Crackers.  Assorted nuts, both
      salted and unsalted.  Assorted whole fruit (bananas, strawberries,
      apples, oranges, watermelon, etc.)  6 litres Fresh Squeeze Orange
      Juice.  2 litres V8 Juice.  1 litre Tomato Juice.  2 litres Apple
      Juice.  1 litre Carrot Juice.  2 litres Soya Milk (Vanilla and/or
      Plain).  6 litres Evian Non-Carbonated Water.  4 litres Carbonated
      Water.  Assorted Pop.  Many, many cups and ice.  One Sharpie Marker.
      One copy current Yellow pages.  One copy USA Today."

Wait, that doesn't include dinner:

      "Remember the number?  Yes, there are nineteen of us.  You are welcome
      to attempt to cook for us, more power to you, but be forewarned that
      there are vegetarians of varying degrees who whine and complain all
      day.  If you wish to make someone cook for this unforgiving bunch, the
      meal breakdown is as follows:  4 vegan (no meat, fish, chicken, egg,
      dairy, cheese, or any other animal product whatsoever)  8 vegetarian
      (no meat, fish, chicken), 7 meat eaters (no explanation needed).  The
      meals must include a main course and a salad with a selection of
      dressings.  Upon advance by Lane we will go over this in detail.
      Should the thought of cooking this bee too much for you, I know it
      would be for me, we can be bought.  For $10 per member ($190 in tens,
      please) and directions to a couple of decent restaurants (like maybe
      the nearest Indian, Thai, Chinese, and Italian restaurants) we will be
      out of your hair for awhile, at least.  Please have the buy-out
      available before dinner."

But wait!  This is an awfully thirsty bunch:

      "To be put _on_ice_ in the dressing rooms(s) moments before the doors
      open:  2x24 Imported Lager (Becks, Heineken, etc.). 1x24 Local Beer
      (surprise us, but remember that Bud, Miller, Coors, etc., do not count
      as "local").  1x6 Non alcoholic beer.  2 - 750ml bottles decent
      quality Medium White Wine.  2 - 750ml bottles decent quality Sweet Red
      Wine.  1 - 750ml bottle Champagne.  2 - 26oz bottles Vodka.  1 - 26oz
      bottles Tequila.  1 - 26oz bottle Scotch.  1x24 Pepsi/Root Beer/Dr.
      Pepper (no Coke please).  1x6 Diet Coke.  1 - bottle lime juice.  15 -
      one litre bottles Evian water.  5 - one litre bottles carbonated
      water.  20 clean white towels."

This was the first time I was thanking God for the Utah liquor laws.  By law,
we could only provide them with the beer and the non-alcoholic drinks.  We
decided to cover the rest, we'd give them bar vouchers.  As for the FOOD, I
called a local health food store and had them cater everything.  Rather than
buying them out, I decided it would be better to have dinner ready for them.
Not only could I get a bigger and better dinner for $190, but it would save
them a lot of time.  The entire meal was vegan, so there wouldn't be any
problems with the food.  Vegan lasagne, wheat-meat chicken stroganof, two
salads, and a vegetable soup.

Tuesday night, a friend on public radio did a special show for the concert.  He
played an hour of Meat Beat Manifesto, then some tracks off the Orbital album.
He said that anyone could call in for details on the concert.  Unfortunately,
most of the night, his telephone was off the hook (he didn't know).  Once he
put it back on, it was rather late.

Wednesday morning rolled around.  John and I arrived when to pick up our two
truckloads of lights then got to the club.  John got busy covering and hiding
the radio and club logos, while I started hanging lights.  The sound was
supposed to show up at 10:00.  By 10:30 nothing had arrived.  I called them and
found out that they thought it was on Thursday.  They said they would be there
within an hour.  At 12:30, the catering was supposed to show up with the
"snacks".  At 1:00 I called them, they thought it was supposed to be Thursday.
Am I going INSANE?  I looked at the invoice for catering, "Wednesday, the
19th."  Well, half way right.  The woman in charge apologized profusely and
managed to get together everything within two hours.  One hour after the tour
bus and U-Haul arrived.  When they did arrive, I had one loader and myself to
do the work.  Everyone else had gone to run errands.  So myself, the loader,
the roadies, Ultramarine, and Orbital moved all the equipment into the club.
By the time we were finished, everyone had returned.

The crew's lighting techs were busy hanging the remainder of the lights, while
everyone involved with sound did the checks.  I had virtually NOTHING to do
with the sound all night long.  It was a big relief.  My major mistake was not
hiring the lighting tech to do the lights, I figured I could do it myself and
save myself money.  This turned into a nightmare, then a blessing in disguise.
First the tech had to come down and rig up the power since the cords to the
amps were too short, and I had no idea how the jack into the house's power bank
(this isn't a simple plug).  That cost $100.  Once we had all the lights going
to the dimmer pack, NOTHING WORKED.  Turned out that the tech had wired things
backwards.  So we had to take the house power down (everyone had to save
everything on their synthesizers, NO TAPES WERE USED), then as soon as we got
the go ahead from the sound crew, we took the power down.  When things got
rewired, it came back up, but still the lights barely worked.  We had about two
working channels rather than the 12 we were supposed to have.  So we went with
the strobes, and the three effect lights that we had rented, as well as
whatever house lights we could use.  This was finally solidified minutes before
the doors opened.

There were ten people waiting outside.  I could hardly believe it.  I was
throwing the best concert this state had seen all year and there were ten
people waiting outside.  The previous night, Dead or Alive had lip-synched in
another club to a DAT tape.  The tape had broken in the middle of the
performance.  People demanded their money back.  Instead of giving all of their
money back, they gave back half and a voucher for free admission on Wednesday.
The saps took it!  We had people go down to the other club and they were lined
up around the block.  Several people told them that they would rather go to our
concert, but unfortunately they had already bought tickets for DoA.

Dave Kendall was a rather nice unassuming person.  I didn't get to talk to him
much, but he made himself busy by hanging various pieces of art around the
club.  He ran errands by himself and did a decent job MC'ing the show.  His DJ
set left a lot to be desired, but it was better than the majority of radio DJs
around here.  He kicked off the show before Ultramarine took the stage.

Ultramarine played a killer set.  I only got to see bits and pieces because I
was running around making sure everyone had eaten, had drinks, and whatever.  I
got to talk to the Hartnolls quite a bit during this time.  Phil asked me how I
did the live computer video.  Both of them were very impressed with it.  After
explaining it, I was floored to find Phil asking me for my "details."  I
thought he wanted details on how to get the equipment, but what he really
wanted was my address to stay in touch.  I also gave them Vidar's discography
and they made a lot of changes and additions to it.  When I mentioned that it
was extremely difficult to get their singles, they told me that THEY didn't
even have them all.  The record company had never sent them any and they
couldn't find them anywhere.  Of course, who needs them, when you've got the
original sequences :-)?

Jack Dangers looked over Jon Drukman's discography and laughed at the fact that
Jon had even put in the writing on the run-out groove.  He mentioned that one
of their 12"'s had no run-out groove at all.  The needle would just hit the
label.   The only addition he had for the list was the "Space Children"
release.  I'd never heard of this, but he said it was a name that he had done
by himself.  No other details were offered.  He said the discography was
extremely accurate.  When I asked about what remixes he had done, Jack just
laughed and said something to the effect that there were more than he could
remember.

Everyone involved with the tour was extremely _nice_.  They were all aware that
it was our first gig and they helped us out a lot.  Everyone signed all of
their releases I had brought.  Ultramarine said that it was the first time
anyone had asked for their autographs.

Orbital played their set in the middle of the audience.  They both came out
with glasses with flash lights on the sides.  It made their bald heads both
look quite alien.  Their synthesizer racks caged them in while they keyed off a
terrific set.  The only problem is that most people didn't realize they were
on.  Someone came up to me later and asked when Orbital was supposed to play.
I told them that they already had and pointed at the cage.  It left me frothing
at the mouth, and even though I knew I had lost a lot of money that night,
having Orbital there was worth it.  I would have never dreamed that I would
have gotten to this position by the end of the year.

Meat Beat Manifesto ripped out a great set.  Jack rapped off smoothly while
diddling with the sequencer.  Amazingly enough, the lights we had working were
really really good.  There was a flower scan that was sound operated, but
seemed to act as if it was operated by a human.  On the songs that it was on,
it always ended up shining down upon Johnnie in perfect form.

No bands did encores.  I don't think they did them anywhere.  Dave Kendall
jumped on the stage and thanked everyone for coming.  Tony Fletcher wanted me
to finish the set, but I needed to setup my equipment.  Everyone was too busy
taking things down to give me a connect, so Tony apologized for it, despite
Kendall announcing the fact that XDZebra would be playing next.  I told Tony
not to worry about it, but to remember me when I came to New York next.  He
looked incredulous and said, "Pete did you really think I'd forget you?"

When I was cleaning up, I found Phil Hartnoll staring at me while I was taking
down our "Taste" t-shirts.  "Pete, could I have one of your shirts?"  I think
that was the most memorable part of the night.  I gave him two (of course) and
he got us Orbital shirts.  Phil joked that him and Paul would wear them
whenever they had their picture taken, but I was just happy to know that this
band that I held in such high regard would remember me as a friend, and not as
a fan.

Despite our inexperience, the crew and bands had a great time.  The tour
promoter told me that he would recommend us to anyone and everyone.  He said
that there were a lot of jerks out there and we were one of the few cool
capable people.  He said that lots of people would be glad that there was
someone in Salt Lake that they could deal with.  As I was helping the sound
engineer load stuff on the elevator, he said he would recommend us around
England.  He stated that Sheep on Drugs were going to start a tour and they
played for almost nothing for a great show.  He said he'd get us in contact
with them.

When all was totaled up, I had lost $2500 on the night.  Short time of
promotion, a Wednesday night, and Dead or Alive lip-synching four blocks down
had contributed to the factors.  What was even more depressing was when I
arrived home at 5:30 from packing and cleaning up the club, someone had left a
really mean message on our voice mail.  He told me, in between obscenities,
that we didn't know how to throw a rave and we shouldn't be throwing raves in
public places.  He said we should "fucking get our fucking act together in the
future."  He recommended that we should check out the "scene where it is
happening in San Francisco and other places."  This same person had been
outside the club arguing with one of the bouncers.  Him and ten people refused
to pay the $15 to see the show because it wasn't underground enough.  I never
made any pretense of it being a rave.  On the hotline I had clearly stated that
it was our first "concert."  I wish it could have been a rave, but it would
have had to have been on a weekend and the bands certainly would have had to
have more time.  They were stretching things as it was by going to 1:00AM.
On top of that, I had completely shafted the "modern music" station.  Although
they had wanted to get in on it, I tried to keep it as underground as I could.
We didn't even put anything on the club's marquee.  I guess I need a little
tougher skin when assholes show up, but it still hurt a lot.

The light company ended up giving us everything for free.  They stated that it
was their fault that things hadn't worked.  Even though I felt that what we had
working was better than adequate, I wasn't going to turn down $500.  This did
bring the $2500 loss down to $2000.  I was able to get a low interest loan from
my bank to pay that off.  I'm not discouraged at all about the future.  Give me
a weekend, a decent band, and plenty of time and I'll rip a hole in the other
promoters here.  John and I both decided that we would try to do more and more
simpler, smaller raves, rather than growing bigger and bigger each time.  If we
did a concert seperate from a rave, we would go all out on advertising and make
sure that everyone knows.  The club owner was completely nice to us, and has a
basement we might be able to use as well.  So we're down, but not dead.  A lot
of contacts were made as well as some really good friendships.  All in all, I'm
still glad I did it.  Orbital and Meat Beat said they would return next year
and there's only one person they'll work with, me.