Subject: Re: (posdis) Re: Majordomo results: .
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Thanks, Lisa. I, too, was scratching my head. As usual, the answer was =
simpler than I'd made it.
Cheryl
Reno, NV
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Thanks, Lisa. I, too, was scratching my head. As usual, the answer =
was=20
simpler than I'd made it.
Cheryl
Reno, NV
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Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2003 04:52:34 -0500
From: Cathyvoc@aol.com
Subject: (posdis) re: Parent Project
Hi,
We have a couple of people teaching "Parent Project" to teach parenting skills. They told me that this is the only program that teaches parenting skills dealing with problem children, especially adolescents. Does anyone have any information about Parent Project? Doesn't Positive Discipline address difficult children as well?
Catherine Taylor
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Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2003 08:08:41 EST
From: JaneNelsen@aol.com
Subject: Re: (posdis) re: Parent Project
- -------------------------------1071320921
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In a message dated 12/13/2003 1:53:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,
Cathyvoc@aol.com writes:
We have a couple of people teaching "Parent Project" to teach parenting
skills. They told me that this is the only program that teaches parenting skills
dealing with problem children, especially adolescents. Does anyone have any
information about Parent Project? Doesn't Positive Discipline address difficult
children as well?
Hi Catherine, Where are you from? Yes, Positive Discipline addresses
difficult children very well -- understanding the purpose of the difficulting as well
as encouraging methods for helping the "difficult" child. My question about
the Parent Project (which I know nothing about) is how does it address difficult
children? Does it use punishment -- which usually fosters rebellion, revenge,
or retreat (going underground, or sneakiness), or is it encouraging by
folling the 4 Criteria for Effective Discipline:
Four Criteria for Effective Discipline
1. Does it help children feel a sense of connection? (Belonging and
Significance)
2. Is it respectful and encouraging? (Kind and firm at the same time)
3. Is it effective long-term? (Punishment works short term, but has negative
long-term results. Effective discipline considers what the child is thinking,
feeling, and deciding and fosters the long term results of No. 4)
4. Does it teach valuable social and life skills for good character?
(Respect, concern for others, problem-solving, cooperation)
It other words, does the parent project understand that a misbehaving
(difficult) child is a discouraged child -- and use encouraging methods?
Jane Nelsen, Salt Lake City
- -------------------------------1071320921
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Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
In a message dated 12/13/2003 1:53:12 AM Pacific Standard Time, Cathyvo=
c@aol.com writes:
We have a couple of people teaching "Parent Pr=
oject" to teach parenting skills. They told me that this is the only p=
rogram that teaches parenting skills dealing with problem children, especial=
ly adolescents. Does anyone have any information about Parent Project?=
Doesn't Positive Discipline address difficult children as well?
Hi Catherine, Where are yo=
u from? Yes, Positive Discipline addresses difficult children very well -- u=
nderstanding the purpose of the difficulting as well as encouraging methods=20=
for helping the "difficult" child. My question about the Parent Project (whi=
ch I know nothing about) is how does it address difficult children? Does it=20=
use punishment -- which usually fosters rebellion, revenge, or retreat=20=
(going underground, or sneakiness), or is it encouraging by folling the 4 Cr=
iteria for Effective Discipline:=20
=
;
Four Criteria for Effective=
Discipline
1. Does it help children feel a sense of connection? (Be=
longing and Significance)
2. Is it respectful and encouraging? (Kind and firm at t=
he same time)
3. Is it effective long-term? (Punishment works short te=
rm, but has negative long-term results. Effective discipline considers what=20=
the child is thinking, feeling, and deciding and fosters the long term resul=
ts of No. 4)
4. Does it teach valuable social and life skills for goo=
d character? (Respect, concern for others, problem-solving, cooperation)
It other words, does the pa=
rent project understand that a misbehaving (difficult) child is a discourage=
d child -- and use encouraging methods?
Jane Nelsen, Salt Lake City
- -------------------------------1071320921--
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To unsubscribe to posdis, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com"
with "unsubscribe posdis" in the body of the message.
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2003 10:16:37 EST
From: KellyGlenn@aol.com
Subject: (posdis) Re: PD is amazing
- -------------------------------1071328597
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I just wanted to share with everyone that Scott (my husband) and I were
talking the other night about how wonderful PD is and how glad we are that we know
about it.
We have had many "chore" issues in the past as most families and lately we
have used PD principles to make amazing changes.
First of all, I had made the kids a chart of their weekly chores and they
complained about doing their chores and the kids and I argued about their chores
being done. We tried to think of solutions for this. The first question we
asked ourselves was "were we modeling what we were expecting?" No we weren't.
Scott and I of course do plenty around the house, but we did not have a chart
with daily expectations. So we made up a job chart for ourselves as well.
Some of the things we put on our chart were things that we were already doing
such as Scott takes the trash to the street once a a week. But we realized
that we were asking the kids to keep their rooms clean through some of their
weekly jobs, but we parents weren't keeping our own bedroom neat and tidy. So our
new chore list includes things like, "clean up the area on and around your
bedside table," something that is similar to some of the kids' tasks in their
rooms. Our son commented that it made him feel so much better that we now had
job lists for our room and that he knows we do a lot anyway, but that it still
helped him alot. He stopped complaining about his jobs for quite a while.
Next, I came up with the idea to have an "8 o'clock" clean up each evening in
which the whole family is involved. It so happens that on most nights we are
all home at 8 o'clock. My kids are ages 10 and 7. We just do this for the
downstairs part of our house. The whole family starts in one room and anyone
who has left anything in that room during the day puts it away and we
straighten that room as a family. Then we move on to the next room. The first time we
did it, it took about 35 minutes and now it only takes about 15 minutes.
So 8 o'clock clean up was going well for a few weeks and then some whining
came from the kids mouths. So we simply looked back to PD principles and
decided to make one family member the "8 o'clock clean up manager" for a week and
then rotate this job weeekly. We also have a chore chart that all family
members follow and some nagging had then started(from my husband and I) about those
chores. So our idea was also to make one family member the "job manager" each
week and rotate this position weekly as well. So now each week, a different
family member is the "8 o'clock clean up manager" and a different family
member is the "job manager." I made up some check lists on the computer that are
used by each manager and these sheets are used on clipboards for the manager to
carry around to check others off on their jobs or to lead "8 o'clock clean
up." What a difference it has made in our kids attitudes. Also our kids get
leadership opportunities. It was interesting to watch their leadership styles
in the weekly roles. The second week, my kids had a pretty huge argument with
teach other because one was nagging the other. This turned out to be a
learning experience for all.
We are learning so much from the PD principles. We work on solutions, make
mistakes and try to learn from them and work together.
Kelly Pfeiffer,
Greenville, SC
- -------------------------------1071328597
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Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
I just wanted to share with everyone that Scott (my husband) and I were=
talking the other night about how wonderful PD is and how glad we are that=20=
we know about it.
We have had many "chore" issues in the past as most families and lately=
we have used PD principles to make amazing changes.
First of all, I had made the kids a chart of their weekly chores and th=
ey complained about doing their chores and the kids and I argued about their=
chores being done. We tried to think of solutions for this. The=
first question we asked ourselves was "were we modeling what we were expect=
ing?" No we weren't. Scott and I of course do plenty around the=20=
house, but we did not have a chart with daily expectations. So we made=
up a job chart for ourselves as well. Some of the things we put on ou=
r chart were things that we were already doing such as Scott takes the trash=
to the street once a a week. But we realized that we were asking the=20=
kids to keep their rooms clean through some of their weekly jobs, but we par=
ents weren't keeping our own bedroom neat and tidy. So our new chore l=
ist includes things like, "clean up the area on and around your bedside tabl=
e," something that is similar to some of the kids' tasks in their rooms.&nbs=
p; Our son commented that it made him feel so much better that we now had jo=
b lists for our room and that he knows we do a lot anyway, but that it still=
helped him alot. He stopped complaining about his jobs for quite a wh=
ile.
Next, I came up with the idea to have an "8 o'clock" clean up each even=
ing in which the whole family is involved. It so happens that on most=20=
nights we are all home at 8 o'clock. My kids are ages 10 and 7. =20=
We just do this for the downstairs part of our house. The whole family=
starts in one room and anyone who has left anything in that room during the=
day puts it away and we straighten that room as a family. Then we mov=
e on to the next room. The first time we did it, it took about 35 minu=
tes and now it only takes about 15 minutes.
So 8 o'clock clean up was going well for a few weeks and then some whin=
ing came from the kids mouths. So we simply looked back to PD principl=
es and decided to make one family member the "8 o'clock clean up manager" fo=
r a week and then rotate this job weeekly. We also have a chore chart=20=
that all family members follow and some nagging had then started(from my hus=
band and I) about those chores. So our idea was also to make one famil=
y member the "job manager" each week and rotate this position weekly as well=
. So now each week, a different family member is the "8 o'clock clean=20=
up manager" and a different family member is the "job manager." I made=
up some check lists on the computer that are used by each manager and these=
sheets are used on clipboards for the manager to carry around to check othe=
rs off on their jobs or to lead "8 o'clock clean up." What a differenc=
e it has made in our kids attitudes. Also our kids get leadership oppo=
rtunities. It was interesting to watch their leadership styles in the=20=
weekly roles. The second week, my kids had a pretty huge argument with=
teach other because one was nagging the other. This turned out to be=20=
a learning experience for all.
We are learning so much from the PD principles. We work on soluti=
ons, make mistakes and try to learn from them and work together.
Kelly Pfeiffer,
Greenville, SC
- -------------------------------1071328597--
- -
To unsubscribe to posdis, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com"
with "unsubscribe posdis" in the body of the message.
For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2003 18:55:22 EST
From: Cathyvoc@aol.com
Subject: Re: (posdis) re: Parent Project
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Hi Jane,
I live in Maui.
I have not been able to get information about the program except on line at
Parentproject.com, and I can't get any details. I saw that their orientation
is behavior modification. I am still talking to the presenters, and I am
trying to get information. It just seems so "hush-hush". I heard there is
punishment involved, but I don't have anything to back it up.
I have been using PD in school when working with families and teachers. I am
a counselor at the elementary school, so I also use it during therapeutic
sessions. It works for me. I do a lot of guiding with the parents and teachers.
Catherine Taylor
- --part1_148.1e9ecb62.2d0d00ea_boundary
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Hi Jane,
I live in Maui.
I have not been able to get information about the program except on line at=20=
Parentproject.com, and I can't get any details. I saw that their orien=
tation is behavior modification. I am still talking to the presenters,=
and I am trying to get information. It just seems so "hush-hush".&nbs=
p; I heard there is punishment involved, but I don't have anything to back i=
t up.
I have been using PD in school when working with families and teachers. =
; I am a counselor at the elementary school, so I also use it during therape=
utic sessions. It works for me. I do a lot of guiding with the p=
arents and teachers.
Catherine Taylor
- --part1_148.1e9ecb62.2d0d00ea_boundary--
- -
To unsubscribe to posdis, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com"
with "unsubscribe posdis" in the body of the message.
For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send
"help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 09:11:04 EST
From: JaneNelsen@aol.com
Subject: Re: (posdis) re: Parent Project
- -------------------------------1071411064
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In a message dated 12/13/2003 3:55:55 PM Pacific Standard Time,
Cathyvoc@aol.com writes:
I live in Maui.
I have not been able to get information about the program except on line at
Parentproject.com, and I can't get any details. I saw that their orientation
is behavior modification. I am still talking to the presenters, and I am
trying to get information. It just seems so "hush-hush". I heard there is
punishment involved, but I don't have anything to back it up.
Aloha Catherine, Behavior modification is the opposite of Positive
Discipline. Behavior modification presents "external" motivation -- rewards for good
behavior and punishment for "bad" behavior.
I have heard a little more about the Parent Project, but I don't have
first hand information. What I have heard is that they try to disguise punishment
by calling it logical consequences. They aren't the only one's who do this.
Have you read "No More Logical Consequences -- At Least Hardly Ever"? You can
find it at
http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles_teacher/NO%20MORE%20LOGICAL%20CONSEQUENCES.html
Jane Nelsen
- -------------------------------1071411064
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Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
In a message dated 12/13/2003 3:55:55 PM Pacific Standard Time, Cathyvo=
c@aol.com writes:
I live in Maui.
I have=20=
not been able to get information about the program except on line at Parentp=
roject.com, and I can't get any details. I saw that their orientation=20=
is behavior modification. I am still talking to the presenters, and I=20=
am trying to get information. It just seems so "hush-hush". I he=
ard there is punishment involved, but I don't have anything to back it up.
Aloha Catherine, Behavior=20=
modification is the opposite of Positive Discipline. Behavior modification p=
resents "external" motivation -- rewards for good behavior and punishment fo=
r "bad" behavior.
Jane Nelsen
- -------------------------------1071411064--
- -
To unsubscribe to posdis, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com"
with "unsubscribe posdis" in the body of the message.
For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send
"help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:58:06 +0800 (SGT)
From: hauwquek
Subject: Re: (posdis) Re: PD is amazing
Dear Kelly,
This sounds very interesting! What's the difference between the "8 o'clock clean up manager" and the "job manager".
Regards,
Soo
- --- KellyGlenn@aol.com wrote:
> I just wanted to share with everyone that Scott (my husband) and I
> were
> talking the other night about how wonderful PD is and how glad we
> are that we know
> about it.
>
> We have had many "chore" issues in the past as most families and
> lately we
> have used PD principles to make amazing changes.
>
> First of all, I had made the kids a chart of their weekly chores and
> they
> complained about doing their chores and the kids and I argued about
> their chores
> being done. We tried to think of solutions for this. The first
> question we
> asked ourselves was "were we modeling what we were expecting?" No
> we weren't.
> Scott and I of course do plenty around the house, but we did not
> have a chart
> with daily expectations. So we made up a job chart for ourselves as
> well.
> Some of the things we put on our chart were things that we were
> already doing
> such as Scott takes the trash to the street once a a week. But we
> realized
> that we were asking the kids to keep their rooms clean through some
> of their
> weekly jobs, but we parents weren't keeping our own bedroom neat and
> tidy. So our
> new chore list includes things like, "clean up the area on and
> around your
> bedside table," something that is similar to some of the kids' tasks
> in their
> rooms. Our son commented that it made him feel so much better that
> we now had
> job lists for our room and that he knows we do a lot anyway, but
> that it still
> helped him alot. He stopped complaining about his jobs for quite a
> while.
>
> Next, I came up with the idea to have an "8 o'clock" clean up each
> evening in
> which the whole family is involved. It so happens that on most
> nights we are
> all home at 8 o'clock. My kids are ages 10 and 7. We just do this
> for the
> downstairs part of our house. The whole family starts in one room
> and anyone
> who has left anything in that room during the day puts it away and
> we
> straighten that room as a family. Then we move on to the next room.
> The first time we
> did it, it took about 35 minutes and now it only takes about 15
> minutes.
>
> So 8 o'clock clean up was going well for a few weeks and then some
> whining
> came from the kids mouths. So we simply looked back to PD
> principles and
> decided to make one family member the "8 o'clock clean up manager"
> for a week and
> then rotate this job weeekly. We also have a chore chart that all
> family
> members follow and some nagging had then started(from my husband and
> I) about those
> chores. So our idea was also to make one family member the "job
> manager" each
> week and rotate this position weekly as well. So now each week, a
> different
> family member is the "8 o'clock clean up manager" and a different
> family
> member is the "job manager." I made up some check lists on the
> computer that are
> used by each manager and these sheets are used on clipboards for the
> manager to
> carry around to check others off on their jobs or to lead "8 o'clock
> clean
> up." What a difference it has made in our kids attitudes. Also our
> kids get
> leadership opportunities. It was interesting to watch their
> leadership styles
> in the weekly roles. The second week, my kids had a pretty huge
> argument with
> teach other because one was nagging the other. This turned out to
> be a
> learning experience for all.
>
> We are learning so much from the PD principles. We work on
> solutions, make
> mistakes and try to learn from them and work together.
>
> Kelly Pfeiffer,
> Greenville, SC
>
- -
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with "unsubscribe posdis" in the body of the message.
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------------------------------
End of posdis-digest V1 #1
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